See It, Say It, Sorted: How Mediation Helps Families Resolve Difficult Issues

See it, Say it, Sorted…….

How often have we heard this phrase when on the train or the London Underground?

This message encourages passengers to notice problems and notify the British Transport Police.

However, it struck me recently that this phase could also be used for mediations, to help resolve difficult issues.

Recognising the real issues in Mediation

In many family disputes, here is often a problem or an issue, which seems intractable or painful. Everyone concludes to avoid talking about it or stating clearly what the problem is.

Examples of common issues may include;

• An impractical wish to keep a house, despite financial challenges following a divorce.
• Concerns around your child spending time or meeting a parents’ new partner.

When these issues remain unspoken, it can be difficult for mediation discussions to move forward.

Seeing this real difficulty in accepting changes. Saying, ‘this must be really difficult for you’, thereby acknowledging the pain, can really unlock the discussions in mediation. It might not get sorted, but it can enable clients to look at the future.

When Family Disputes Feel Impossible to Resolve

Sometimes, problems can seem intractable, and it can be difficult to know where to start. One solution can be by seeing the children involved.

Recently, I was involved in a mediation where the couple could not agree where each of them should live. This was due to differing work commitments. Consequently, who their child should live with and where he should go to school.

I realised that in order for the parents to have informed discussions, they needed to know what their teenage child’s views were.

Giving Children a Voice in Family Mediation

Therefore, during the mediation process I saw the child and was able to feed back to the parents, with his permission, what his views were. Whilst this did not mean that he resolved the issues between them, it did mean that got a voice in the decisions that were being made, and which affected him and enabled the parents to take his wishes into account when they made the decision.

It did mean that we were able then to talk about when the school move would be made, the maintenance to be paid, taking into account his living arrangements and the division of capital for houses given their likely location.

The pivotal role of the child in this mediation was seen and outlined to the parents in the pre CIM meetings. This allowed his views to be part of the solution.

How Family Mediation Can Help

If you are facing difficult decisions following a separation or family dispute, mediation can help you explore your options in a constructive and supportive environment.

Whether you are struggling to agree on child arrangements, finances, housing, or other family matters, early conversations can often prevent issues from escalating.

Our experienced family mediators, Christine Plews & Juliet Gordon, can help you identify the key issues, ensure everyone’s voice is heard, and work towards practical solutions that support your family’s future.

Contact us today at 0333 344 6302 to arrange an initial meeting. Find out how family mediation can help you move forward with confidence.

See it, Say it, Sorted…….