Mediation and Parenting Plans: Creating Better Arrangements for Your Children

The family justice system can be stressful, expensive and time-consuming. When parents cannot agree about arrangements for their children, they may ultimately have to ask a judge to decide what is in the child’s best interests.

But going to court is not always the only option.

Family mediation can help separated parents work together to resolve disagreements and create a parenting plan that reflects the needs of their children and the circumstances of their family.

Why consider mediation?

There are some things about the family justice system that are difficult to dispute:
  • The family justice system is adversarial.
  • Court proceedings can ultimately result in a judge deciding what is in your child’s best interests rather than the parents making that decision themselves.
  • Family court proceedings can be expensive and slow.
  • Court proceedings are primarily concerned with issues such as where children should live and how their time should be divided between their parents.
  • The Court encourages parents to resolve disputes through mediation where appropriate.
  • Agreements reached by parents, rather than imposed upon them by a court, can be more sustainable.

The reason the Court encourages mediation is that it can lead to better outcomes for both parents and children.

Mediation is not suitable for every family. Cases are carefully screened for issues that may make mediation inappropriate, including domestic abuse and safeguarding concerns. Where those issues mean that mediation is not suitable, the family court process may provide the appropriate way of resolving the dispute.

Where mediation is suitable, however, parents can sit down with an independent mediator and discuss the matters they are finding difficult to resolve themselves.

This can result in a comprehensive parenting plan covering not only the issues a court would consider, but also the practical day-to-day matters that can otherwise cause friction between separated parents.

Mediation is not suitable for every family. Cases are carefully screened for issues that may make mediation inappropriate, including domestic abuse and safeguarding concerns. Where those issues mean that mediation is not suitable, the family court process may provide the appropriate way of resolving the dispute.
Where mediation is suitable, however, parents can sit down with an independent mediator and discuss the matters they are finding difficult to resolve themselves.
This can result in a comprehensive parenting plan covering not only the issues a court would consider, but also the practical day-to-day matters that can otherwise cause friction between separated parents.

What can a parenting plan cover?

A parenting plan can deal with a wide range of issues. For example, parents might discuss:
  • How involved each parent wants to be in their child’s life when the child is staying with the other parent.
  • Which parent should make decisions about doctors, dentists and other healthcare.
  • How decisions about schools and education should be made.
  • What should happen when a parent is unavailable to provide childcare.
  • Whether the other parent should have the first opportunity to provide childcare before alternative arrangements are made.
  • What information should be shared when one parent takes the child on holiday.
  • Whether the other parent should know where the child is staying and who else will be on the holiday.
  • How parents should approach introducing a child to a new partner.
  • When a new relationship should be considered significant enough for the other parent to be informed.

These are examples of the types of practical issues that can be discussed during family mediation.

Importantly, there is usually no single “right” answer to these questions.

The purpose of mediation is to help parents discuss what works for their particular circumstances and agree arrangements that are right for their children and their family.

Parenting plans can adapt as children grow

One of the significant benefits of agreeing a parenting plan is that arrangements can evolve.
If parents have been able to agree a parenting plan when their children are young, they may be better placed to adapt those arrangements as the children get older and their needs change.
As the arrangements were agreed by the parents in the first place, rather than imposed upon them by a judge, they may have greater confidence in discussing and changing them when circumstances change.
In appropriate cases, Child Inclusive Mediation can also give children an opportunity to have their views heard. This can help parents understand what matters to their children when making decisions about future arrangements.

Is mediation in your child’s best interests?

Resolving difficult issues with a former partner through mediation is not always easy. It can require parents to have difficult conversations and to consider a different perspective.
However, where mediation is suitable, it can give parents greater control over decisions affecting their children and help them establish a more constructive approach to co-parenting.
For many families, reaching an agreement together can be preferable to having arrangements imposed by the Court.
The Ministry of Justice mediation voucher scheme can also provide financial assistance towards the cost of mediation in eligible cases, helping parents access this alternative to court proceedings.

Family mediation and parenting plans at Blanchards Family Law

At Blanchards Family Law, we offer family mediation, including Child Inclusive Mediation, and can assist eligible families with the Ministry of Justice mediation voucher scheme.

If you are separated from your child’s other parent and are struggling to agree arrangements for your children, mediation may help you work towards a practical and sustainable parenting plan.

If you would like to discuss whether mediation could be appropriate for your circumstances, please contact us here

Can we help you? Please call us on 0333 344 6302 or contact us through our enquiry form. All initial enquiries are free and without obligation.

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