Busting the Myths About Child Inclusive Mediation
Mediation can be very helpful in looking at what the arrangements for the children are following a divorce or permanent separation. This ensures that the children spend significant amounts of time with each parent. However, thoughts often turn to “Child Inclusive Mediation” (CIM); i.e. the children themselves meeting with the mediator. This applies if the children will not express a view as to what they want to happen. Alternatively, it applies if there is a dispute between the parents as to the child’s wishes.
Is CIM appropriate?
In these situations, the parents’ legal advisors will often enquire about child inclusive mediation as a possible solution. However, before any such decision is made, we must consider whether it is appropriate. We must also consider the motives which have led to it being proposed.
Mediations Mistruths
- The children have to be over ten years old – FALSE.
- Children do not have to be over ten to meet with a mediator. If the family group includes one child aged ten or over, the mediator can see all the children, individually and as a group. In some cases, the mediator may also see children under ten, depending on their maturity and understanding.
- The children can be told to see the mediator – FALSE.
- Parents and children must both give their consent before a mediator meets with the children. A mediator cannot require a child to attend.
- Any family lawyer can be a mediator – FALSE.
- You do not need to be a lawyer to become a mediator, although legal training can help. To practise as a mediator, you must complete specialist training. Around two-thirds of trained mediators go on to complete further study to become accredited, showcasing additional experience and expertise.
- The children are asked to resolve their parents’ issues – FALSE.
- The mediator does not set an agenda for the children, although key issues often emerge naturally in discussion. The mediator meets the children to give them a voice within their parents’ mediation, not to give them responsibility for deciding the arrangements.
Mediation Truths
- Accredited Mediators need further training to see Children in mediation – TRUE.
- Mediators are required to undertake further training to be able to see children and there are only 333 child-inclusive mediators registered with the Family Mediation Council.
- There is a lot of preparation before the child(ren) are seen – TRUE.
- The mediator holds a pre-CIM parental session to discuss the children’s wider family, as well as their likes, dislikes and hobbies. The mediator also writes to the children to introduce herself and explain the process in an age-appropriate way.
- What the children say is confidential – TRUE.
- The children must agree to any feedback being shared with their parents and to the wording used. Even if the children choose not to give feedback, the mediator still holds a post-CIM parental session, as the absence of feedback can itself be significant.
- The Court can order Child Inclusive Mediation and require the mediator to provide a statement – PARTLY TRUE AND FALSE.
Support
If you need support on this matter and want guidance on handling a divorce or separation involving children, contact us today to speak with a member of our team.
Can we help you? Please call us on 0333 344 6302 or contact us through our enquiry form. All initial enquiries are free and without obligation.
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